Stupid Balancing Act

Before I started college here in Singapore, many people told me about the importance of balancing my studies and my social life. It's a problem everyone faces, right? Well, I did expect it, I just didn't expect the balancing to be so hard. I always managed just fine in school; I assumed it would be the same in college. But it's a lot harder to say no to hanging out when I'm living in the same hostel as my friends.

I don't know how to choose studying over hanging out with my friends. So far, I've been lucky; I don't have much work anyway. But the assignments and the tests will soon start, and I will have to start staying up late to study instead of staying up late to talk. And I don't want to limit my social life.

College is full of decisions, isn't it?!

What is this Blog?

I've recently started thinking about what I want this blog to be. The easiest is, of course, things I notice in my personal life and want to talk about. But I don't see how that can ever interest anyone except the people I know. And I don't want my blog to be something visited only by my friends, or a way of getting a message across to them that I would be uncomfortable actually saying in person. And (I shamelessly confess) I want comments. Lots and lots of comments. So, my posts have to be something that make strangers want to comment, not just my friends. (In fact, I don't even like giving my friends the link to my blog. Knowing that people I know are reading my posts inevitably affects what I write and the way I write it.)

What I really want my blog to be is like this one. A funny, witty, interesting blog that makes people have to visit everyday and comment. But I'm not that good or creative a writer.

So, what do I do? Should I just write about whatever I feel like and not worry about comments and responses? Or should I wait until inspiration strikes and then try to be witty?

All Mine!!

Is possessiveness bad? I'm very possessive about my friends. And jealousy comes along with possessiveness, I guess. I don't like it when any of the friends I consider close (or really like), are very close to people I don't know or don't like. One of my closest friends in Singapore is very good friends with another girl whom I don't really know, and I don't like that. Another of my friends has recently found someone else he prefers to hang out with, and I don't like that either.

People always assume that I "like like" a guy if I'm possessive about him. But I think it's more natural to be possessive about friends rather than crushes. I may not like the fact that my crush likes someone else more than he likes me, but it hurts more when a friend prefers someone else to me.

Stupid Cupid

Isn't it amazing how people always seem to find girlfriends/boyfriends so easily? More specifically, isn't it amazing how they find someone they like so easily? I have been in college in Singapore for two weeks; the other Indians have been here for a little over a month. And yet, in our group of about 15 people (6 girls, 9 guys), there are already three couples. What are the chances that out of 9 guys, you'll find one you want to go out with? (I am assuming that Indians have an easier time falling for other Indians, which I do believe is true). Isn't that probability quite low?

I have only ever really liked one guy. Who didn't like me back. And who decided to completely cut me off for no apparent reason after being one of my best friends for a year. I'm not saying that my friends who are dating don't like each other. I just think it's strange (and very lucky) that they find someone they like so easily and in such little time, and who (again very luckily) happened to like them back.



Contradictory thought: After thinking a bit, I realised that it's actually not all that hard to have a "crush" on someone. Assuming that the crush is just that and nothing serious at all. I have those one-day (or somewhat longer) crushes; I have one now. So, I guess it's quite normal to find someone so quickly.

Making Friends

I had no idea making friends would be this hard. Somehow, even though I know I'm not friendliest of people, nor the easiest to get along with, I've never faced the problem of not having friends that I like, or of not being friends with someone I like. And I had thought it would be the same in Singapore. In fact, I was more worried about moving to Delhi two years ago than I was about studying in Singapore. I figured that since there would only be so many Indians here, we'd hang out a lot, and I would make friends easily enough (as bitchy as this sounds, I do have a harder time getting along with "foreigners" than with Indians).

Well, there are many Indians at my hostel, and we do hang out a lot. And I do have friends that I like a lot. It's just that a couple of people I really would like to be friends with (surprisingly, all guys- Vishal, Varun and others) don't seem to be very interested. And I'm too shy and awkward to be forward and friendly and make them like me. sigh.....

I know I've only been here ten days, while Nikhita (the girl everyone loves and therefore, the girl I am occasionally very jealous of) has been here for at least a month. But I suspect that I'm going to have a much harder time making friends than she did. Talking freely with virtual strangers does not come naturally to me. :(