Friday, February 15, 2008

Stupid, stupid months

God, I hate these two months (Feb and March). The not-so-dreaded class 12 board exams are approaching, and this apparently means that I am expected to be confined to the... confines of my room all day, speak in hushed and serious tones (preferaby about the 'progress of my studies'), and look exhausted and over-worked. The facts that I am not stressed at all, still try to enjoy small pleasures such as watching TV, and actually spend at least an hour a day on the phone are constant sources of astonishment, and, occasionally, awe.

But what I hate most about these months is not studying the same bloody chapters and the same bloody subjects again and again, or the fact that spending two hours on the phone everyday constitutes what I call my personal life, or the weekly calls of one of my more studious friends, explaining in great detail what she's studied over the past few days and what she's planning to study over the next few days, and actually believing that I'm interested, or the fact that my history teacher actually tripped over nothing when I told her I still have eight chapters of the syllabus to finish (this was in the first wek of February), or all my teachers asking me how many hours a day I'm studying, and telling me in appropriately dramatic tones that they are relying on me to get about 95 in each subject, or the fact that my last meeting with any of my friends was a week ago.

No, what I hate most about these months is that everytime I step out of my room, and start doing anything else, my parents immediately say "Yeh hum kar lenge, tum apne kaam karo" (We'll do this, you do your work). And saying, when I take it to be an indication that they think I should be studying, that "work" does not necessarily mean study ("you have to, of course, take breaks"). All they want, apparently, is that I not burden myself mentally with anything other than my approaching exams.

It's not that my parents pressure me. In fact, I'm better off than many of my other classmates. They don't even directly tell me study. It's just that I know that even I do something as simple as make reservations for them at a restaurant for Valentine's, they think it is unnecessary. These months, even if I don't study much, my 'mental focus' has to be on my studies.

I do realise that since I chose not to take up Science/engineering, my board results will, effectively and unfortunately, decided which college I study in, and which subject I study. But I am just so tired of the assumption that just because my life-determining exams are near, my life should consist of nothing but studying. That is not going to happen.


Shreya said...

Aha! You're a junior! Here's my opportunity to give you some much hated advice. You should study at least ten hours a day and fall asleep on your desk (if you have one, the floor is fine if you don't). Doesn't matter WHAT you decide to study on a particular day, you should devote at least two hours to math.
Hmm, that felt so good, I've never gotten a chance to give advice, having only seniors for friends. *grin*
Not that my 12th marks are worth bragging about...I did them so badly, I wasn't even eligible to apply in a certain autonomous college!
But I've always wanted to do Engineering (mostly for the money...) and I'm doing pretty well here.

Aishwarya said...

Argh, I remember this period. (I was also a humanities student. With maths.) Erm. Honestly, if you've read the stuff and you have a decent memory (and you can actually make cause-effect type connections in history and economics and such) I don't see why much studying is necessary. I did really well (apart from my English marks, long story!) without it. :)

sumedha said...

Shreya: I don't think the ten hours is going to happen.. six is the max I can stomach. I do do two hours of Maths though. :)

Aishwarya: I'm Humanities with Maths too. And I do agree that much studying isn't needed... it's just that it is very expected. That is what exasperates me. Though there are some benefits... my mum is currently trying to bribe me to study by cooking all the yummy food I love. :)

Anonymous said...

Okay, so I'm not the only one who's going a little bit crazy about my boards then. I'm an engineering student and I guess the boards are pretty important in here too. You need like 60% in PCM to be eligible to give most of the exams and for a person like me, 60% doesn't sound that easy. And even after that, the story doesn't end. At least you can start looking for colleges when the boards are done right, we still have like 2 months of crazy competitive tests after that where half a mark is gonna determine your life and is gonna affect your salary by like 5000 bucks or something. And all the pressure from the parents and teachers doesn't do much good either.

And your parents don't let you do anything right? Mine have taken to doing my extra work also so I can only concentrate on studying. My mother has taken to darkening the bubbles and filling up my forms for the various engineering exams so that I don't waste my time on that. It is really annoying to see them doing that.

sumedha said...

ishmeet: HA! You have NO idea how much I gloat over all my unfortunate friends who'll be sitting for engineering exams! But actually, I am (half-heartedly) going to give the law exam in May, so I do have to work a bit after my boards finish. Not much though, since the attempt is, as I mentioned, half-hearted.

But otherwise, I totally sympathise. My mum won't even let me help her clear the table after lunch so that I can study. But it's becoming better now... I think my parents are accepting the fact that I am NOT going to spend the next month immersed in my books. :) But the good food still continues.

Shreya said...

I did love being handled extra carefully. They brought come cakes and puffs and all those special buns every other day and since I don't like lifting a finger to help with stuff around the house, not being expected to was good too.
Ofcourse, the after-all-I-did-for-you look they gave me after my results came out washed away all that.

sumedha said...

Shreya: I do hope I don't have to face those looks... mym mum has already started being reproachful- I have my first exam on Wednesday, and I'm studying about three hours a day. :)

Anonymous said...

Oh, I sure am gonna get loads of those looks this May. Plus the "you're such a jerk" look as well. Good days ahead. I say.

My first exam was today and if I look at it, I actually started studying only yesterday. But yea, yesterday I did study a lot and now I'm completely screwed. I can't even think straight. Damn these boards.

Good luck for Wednesday! :D

sumedha said...

ishameet: Thanks. :)

sumedha said...

Sorry, I meant ishmeet. I'm not exactly the world's best typist. :)

Anonymous said...

It's okay. I hadn't realised that you had made an error until you mentioned it.