Sunday, December 28, 2008
One, Frodo. Yes, he's the main character, the "saviour of the day" and all that. But what does he really do? First movie, when the Fellowship is stuck in the Mines of Moria, and they get attacked by orcs and trolls at Bali's tomb, Frodo gets hit by a spear that would have (in the words or Aragorn), "skewered a boar". Except he doesn't actually get skewered. His coat of Mithril saves him, and he's barely scratched. But what does Frodo do?* Instead of pushing the spear away and showing he's unhurt, he promptly falls on the floor (as if dead) and then plays dead while the others get rid of the orcs. I mean, I know most of the drama of him falling, and the sound effects, were probably to scare people watching the movie, but it just seemed so silly!
Throughout the trilogy, we keep seeing examples of Frodo not really being able to do anything at all. He puts the Ring on on at least two ocassions that I can think of that really could have gotten him (and everyone else) killed, he sent Sam away in the third movie when Sam was actually the only reason why he actually got as far as he did, and then, to top it off, he refused to throw the Ring into the fire at the end! Yes, I know that the Ring is evil. It has the power to influence people, to capture their minds, but it all makes Frodo seem so weak. I generally tend to forward the parts of the DVD that feature him.
The second thing I really didn't like was the Arwen-Aragorn-Eowyn love triangle. More specifically, it's solution. I'm all for the love triangle. It's very understandable that both women would fall for Aragorn. But why would he choose Arwen? The only time she actually showed some spirit was in the first movie, when she took Frodo to Rivendell. Otherwise, she doesn't really seem to do anything.
Eowyn, on the other hand, has all my admiration. She does her "duty" for the first two movies; she leads the women and children to Helm's Deep when orcs attack the people of Rohan, she stays with them in the caves during the battle of Helm's Deep. But we can see her yearning to fight, to do something to help! Finally, in the third movie, she not only dresses as a man to go to war, but takes Merry with her. And she brings down an elephant on her own, and kills the Nazgul and it's rider (whom no man can kill) by herself. Seriously, what is cooler than her dialogue, "I am no man!"??
Aragorn is my favourite character, but I would love him so much more if he'd fallen in love with Eowyn.
*I haven't finished reading the books yet, so I don't know if all this is just a dramatisation in the movie
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
Facebook shows me bits and pieces of the lives that my friends are now leading. Of the people they live with, of their new friends and their colleges. And I just realised how weird it is that I'm not in any of those pictures. It's almost freaky how different our lives are now. We live in different countries, we hang out with different people.
I have good friends here in Singapore, but honestly, I've known them for too short a time for me to be really important in their lives. And maybe they're not as important in my life as I think they are either.
In three weeks, my holidays start. All of us go back to our separate lives in different cities. And while I'm very excited about meeting my old friends, and going back home, I'm afraid of losing touch with my new friends. It's been my experience that half your life can seem very unreal at times. For example, when I used to visit Kanpur, my life in Delhi would seem very unreal. So, when we all go home, meet our family and old friends, Singapore may seem unreal. And that may mean that we lose touch with each other for a month. And I don't want that to happen.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
But while I always had an answer when I was a kid, I don't have one now. When I graduated from school, the questions became more persistent and serious. People asked me what career I'm planning to pursue, and "I don't know" was never accepted as a real answer. "Kuch to idea hoga na, beta." You always have to have some idea. When I chose to come to Singapore and study Economics, I was told that it's a smart choice... "Economics mein to bahut potential hai".
I didn't really have a reason for choosing Economics. After class 10, one thing I knew was that I didn't want to continue Science. So I chose Humanities. After class 12, I chose Economics because the little that I had seen of it, I liked. But still, I have no "plans" for my future. I don't even know which courses I want to take next semester, which co-curricular activities I want to join. The rest of my life is too far away for me to plan. I don't know whether this is good or bad... all my friends here and in India seem to have answers to what they want to do when they grow up. Some want to be engineers, one wants to be a designer, some want to start their own businesses. I'm hoping that after four years here in Singapore, I'll have some answer for "what I want to be when I grow up".
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Then there was a boring class followed by a very boring meeting. Then another very long, quite boring Statistics meeting, where again I felt stupid since I'm not any good at stats.
There is an important decision I have to make soon, and I'm sure I'll pick the wrong choice and everything will be screwed up. So now I have a this sinking feeling. A very bad feeling. This is definitely not a good week.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
I've lived in IIT all my life, first in Kanpur, then in Delhi. My father is an alumnus and a professor. So, I tend to take comments and discussions about IIT a little defensively, even though I'm not actually part of the instituion. But this is un-defendable. I came across it yesterday, and it I'm very glad to see that it's had a quite an impact.... there are many blogs talking [ranting] about it.
I don't have anything new or highly creative to say about this, so read this and this and this. They say everything I want to. I'm just glad I was in class when I first came saw the link, because I would have definitely shouted at someone if I didn't have time to cool down first.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Home was a little exhausting. My mother and I are close: I was at home for most of this year, since my school gave us study leave in January, and I spent all of that time with my mum. My mother is a very emotional person. So, talks of me leaving home and how much she misses me happen frequently. And they make me uncomfortable. Although I do think I'm a fairly emotional person, I don't display it very much. I prefer to cry alone than on the shoulder of a friend, I prefer to write about things that bother me than to talk about them. So, home was a little exhausting.
Besides, last week, I had a lot of idle time to think. And I finally accepted to myself that what I'm doing in college is not what I want to be doing. I'm not studying (at all), I'm being very, very lazy, and I'm breaking all the promises I made to myself before I started college. I'm a very lazy person, and I hate that about myself. I stopped singing simply because I didn't like my teacher and was too lazy to find a new one, and now, I've lost most of the skills and talent that I had. In school, I didn't participate in many activities, promising myself that I would be more outgoing and active in college, but here again, I'm making excuses for myself to not go for the clubs I joined. I promised myself that I would do very well academically, another thing I didn't do in school, but again, I'm trying to get out of project meetings, not listening in class, behaving very irresponsibly. Not only am I not working, I'm even constantly badgering my friends who are working. And all this introspection, healthy though it may be, makes me panic, which is very exhausting.
Coming back to Singapore was just a little bit of an anti-climax, I guess. I was looking forward to coming back, and I know I tend to build things up in my head, imagine situations, what I would say, what my friends would say, so I should have expected this. I know I was only gone for a week; nothing amazing is supposed to happen when I come back. I just wanted it to.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
- Study for 18 hours at a stretch to finish an assignment
- Be a fantastic writer!
- Play the guitar really well
- Sing along with the guitar
- Come up with interesting things to blog/write about
- Not get jealous so easily
- Be close with all the people I like without offending any of them
- Get along with complete strangers (and by "get along", I mean being able to carry on a simple conversation without any long ankward pauses)
- Be one of those rare few students who manage to maintain a 3.8 GPA without cutting off their social life
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
I don't know how to choose studying over hanging out with my friends. So far, I've been lucky; I don't have much work anyway. But the assignments and the tests will soon start, and I will have to start staying up late to study instead of staying up late to talk. And I don't want to limit my social life.
College is full of decisions, isn't it?!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
I've recently started thinking about what I want this blog to be. The easiest is, of course, things I notice in my personal life and want to talk about. But I don't see how that can ever interest anyone except the people I know. And I don't want my blog to be something visited only by my friends, or a way of getting a message across to them that I would be uncomfortable actually saying in person. And (I shamelessly confess) I want comments. Lots and lots of comments. So, my posts have to be something that make strangers want to comment, not just my friends. (In fact, I don't even like giving my friends the link to my blog. Knowing that people I know are reading my posts inevitably affects what I write and the way I write it.)
What I really want my blog to be is like this one. A funny, witty, interesting blog that makes people have to visit everyday and comment. But I'm not that good or creative a writer.
So, what do I do? Should I just write about whatever I feel like and not worry about comments and responses? Or should I wait until inspiration strikes and then try to be witty?
Monday, September 8, 2008
Is possessiveness bad? I'm very possessive about my friends. And jealousy comes along with possessiveness, I guess. I don't like it when any of the friends I consider close (or really like), are very close to people I don't know or don't like. One of my closest friends in Singapore is very good friends with another girl whom I don't really know, and I don't like that. Another of my friends has recently found someone else he prefers to hang out with, and I don't like that either.
People always assume that I "like like" a guy if I'm possessive about him. But I think it's more natural to be possessive about friends rather than crushes. I may not like the fact that my crush likes someone else more than he likes me, but it hurts more when a friend prefers someone else to me.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
I have only ever really liked one guy. Who didn't like me back. And who decided to completely cut me off for no apparent reason after being one of my best friends for a year. I'm not saying that my friends who are dating don't like each other. I just think it's strange (and very lucky) that they find someone they like so easily and in such little time, and who (again very luckily) happened to like them back.
Contradictory thought: After thinking a bit, I realised that it's actually not all that hard to have a "crush" on someone. Assuming that the crush is just that and nothing serious at all. I have those one-day (or somewhat longer) crushes; I have one now. So, I guess it's quite normal to find someone so quickly.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Well, there are many Indians at my hostel, and we do hang out a lot. And I do have friends that I like a lot. It's just that a couple of people I really would like to be friends with (surprisingly, all guys- Vishal, Varun and others) don't seem to be very interested. And I'm too shy and awkward to be forward and friendly and make them like me. sigh.....
I know I've only been here ten days, while Nikhita (the girl everyone loves and therefore, the girl I am occasionally very jealous of) has been here for at least a month. But I suspect that I'm going to have a much harder time making friends than she did. Talking freely with virtual strangers does not come naturally to me. :(
Sunday, July 20, 2008
This is, of course, a theoretical statement. Practically, I love the air-conditioning, the bathrooms and electricity, the wi-fi enabled campus, the comfort. :) Also, I do realise that I've made a very broad generalisation about Indian hostels... not having lived in any, or having talked about hostel life with anyone who has, I have relied completely on the general cliches people mention when discussing college and hostels.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Also somewhat related: who can you see on TV other than actors and sportsman? My friend Anuja has made me notice all the hot actors on TV- Patrick Dempsey, Hugh Laurie, Jesse Spencer, Shahid Kapoor, Kunal Kapoor etc. But this post (the last bracketed line of para 1) on Aishwarya's blog made me realise that I don't know where else to find hot guys. There seems to be a big lack of them in real life, and reel life seems to offer only sportsmen (which doesn't help me, since I watch no sports) and actors.
Where are all the cute guys?
Thursday, May 22, 2008
My school has ended, but college has not yet begun. Results come out tomorrow, but forms on the 2nd of June. So, for the next ten days, I have nothing (not even the filling out of forms) to entertain me. I have spent the last few days of my vacation being utterly bored, and looks like I'll be spending the next few days the same way.
I lack creativity. I don't know what to do, I can't invent anything to entertain myself with, and thus, end up spending 8 hours a day watching the 160GB worth of TV shows I've downloaded. Even old hobbies do not seem enticing.
I am at a loss.
Friday, May 9, 2008
My main issue with my fatness (I say "fatness" because "obesity" sounds so much fatter) is not that I can almost never look good. Or that my powers of attracting guys are next to nil. Or that I'm so heavy that my future boyfriend can definitely never sweep me off my feet. My problem is clothes. I can't buy many of the shirts that I really like. Anything that is "pretty" is not available in my size, which is generally two sizes larger than XL. I can't shop at Sarojini Nagar for cheap clothes because many of them turn out to be too tight later when I try them on. And for me, finding clothes is even more traumatic because I happen to have big breasts. So the clothes that may actually be big enough to house my stomach are too tight at my chest. Most shops here apparently don't believe in making nice clothes for fat people!
I even have large feet! My foot-size is one size larger than the largest size available in markets. I can't buy wedges or pumps (which are terms I learnt recently), so I'm forced to wear the chappals that are open at the back so that my heel can stick out a little.
I am currently forced to satisfy the shopaholic in me by shopping for my friends (all of whom happen to be thin with regular-sized feet).
Friday, February 15, 2008
But what I hate most about these months is not studying the same bloody chapters and the same bloody subjects again and again, or the fact that spending two hours on the phone everyday constitutes what I call my personal life, or the weekly calls of one of my more studious friends, explaining in great detail what she's studied over the past few days and what she's planning to study over the next few days, and actually believing that I'm interested, or the fact that my history teacher actually tripped over nothing when I told her I still have eight chapters of the syllabus to finish (this was in the first wek of February), or all my teachers asking me how many hours a day I'm studying, and telling me in appropriately dramatic tones that they are relying on me to get about 95 in each subject, or the fact that my last meeting with any of my friends was a week ago.
No, what I hate most about these months is that everytime I step out of my room, and start doing anything else, my parents immediately say "Yeh hum kar lenge, tum apne kaam karo" (We'll do this, you do your work). And saying, when I take it to be an indication that they think I should be studying, that "work" does not necessarily mean study ("you have to, of course, take breaks"). All they want, apparently, is that I not burden myself mentally with anything other than my approaching exams.
It's not that my parents pressure me. In fact, I'm better off than many of my other classmates. They don't even directly tell me study. It's just that I know that even I do something as simple as make reservations for them at a restaurant for Valentine's, they think it is unnecessary. These months, even if I don't study much, my 'mental focus' has to be on my studies.
I do realise that since I chose not to take up Science/engineering, my board results will, effectively and unfortunately, decided which college I study in, and which subject I study. But I am just so tired of the assumption that just because my life-determining exams are near, my life should consist of nothing but studying. That is not going to happen.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Thursday, January 3, 2008
I am very open minded about sex and religion. I believe in freedom of speech. I accept the fact that people have different beliefs, but I do sometimes face difficulties in respecting beliefs which I think are so wrong. Does my not being able to accept the fact that a boy and a girl, if sitting together, are going to be shooed away from the Rose Garden make me less open minded than I think I am? Or my indignation show that I am open minded?
I just read a piece by Dilip D'Souza about being liberal in India, and very honestly, I didn't understand all of it. Yes, I agree that "one of the things about being liberal is that you live your life as you want and leave others to their lives." I'd like to believe I do that, and I think I actually do do that. I don't completely understand the distinctions he's made between conservatives and liberals, and I don't know which 'camp' I belong to.
And since I don't know what exactly open-mindedness or liberalism means to me, I don't know why I want to be part of that camp.