Monday, January 16, 2012

She


She is a journalist
During protests and movements
During elections and Emergencies
During poverty and abuse
During war and violence
During arrests and investigations
She is the truth.

She is a writer
Of realistic characters in realistic worlds
Of partying students and dreamy intellectuals
Of stories of friendship and ambition
Of murder mysteries and action-packed thrillers
Stories to get lost in
She captures you.

She is a musician
Uncontrollable, irresistible
Intense, all-consuming
Overwhelming melodies.
Real feelings, true stories
You will always remember
The first time you heard her play.

She works in the government
She listens, she cares
She researches and studies
She takes a stand, the right one
She investigates and prosecutes
She implements policy and programmes
She is change.

The Suit

I found a formal jacket yesterday
After looking in every shop I know
Smart, black, two buttons
And it fit perfectly.

They stitch custom suits too
So I got measured for a skirt
And a matching jacket
In sharp, icy grey.

I’ll have the suit on Saturday
I have the enthusiasm now
I’m ready to start a career
All I need is a job.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Creating Stories


Sometimes when I’m on a long flight, I like to give people background stories that I think fit their behaviour or appearance. Sometimes, I like observing people and listening to their conversations, though I usually don’t like having conversations. Today, on a 17-hour journey, I created a daydream version of me.

She sat a few seats down from me while waiting to board the flight. She wore jeans, a plain t-shirt, a jacket and sport shoes – exactly what I usually wear while travelling. Her hair was long and tied back into a ponytail – messy, like mine. She wore glasses and no make-up. She was typing furiously into her laptop. In my version of her life, she’s a writer – not a journalist, a fiction or blog writer. She writes subtly funny articles and realistic stories based on her interpretations of events and people. She smiled while typing – something one of her characters just did amused her.

She carried only a backpack. It looked new – her last backpack was too worn out from all her travelling to be used anymore. A water bottle was stuck in the bottle-carrier net on the side of her backpack. She never buys a backpack that doesn’t have those carriers, because keeping a bottle inside the backpack is too inconvenient.

During the flight, she sat at the emergency exit row, in the window seat, the same seat that I had on the other side of the plane. Clearly, she visits SeatGuru to research the best possible seat, and has travelled enough to know to check in online to make sure she gets the best seat. She spent most of the flight watching something on her laptop that she found funny. The first thing she did when we reached our transit airport was to buy a can of Coke, and then look for a plug-point to charge her laptop – a woman after my own heart.

She talked to the guy sitting in the aisle seat in her row. She talked about travelling – she’s an American student, travelling Asia on the money she earned working several student jobs. She worked in Singapore for a while, but her workplace wanted longer commitment and she didn’t want to stay longer than a year. She’s moving on now – perhaps to Melbourne, where I’m headed, or the mysterious sounding Changchun, flashing on the board of the gate we’re waiting at in the transit airport. The conversation wasn’t long – she’s friendly, but prefers to spend travel time reading her book or watching her movie.

We eye each other at the transit airport, both stuck here for a few hours, both recognising the other from the first flight. I see a kindred spirit, someone who, in my head, is similar to the romantic picture of myself I sometimes conjure while daydreaming. Maybe she notices similarities too, in my behaviour and habits. Maybe she’s giving me a story in her head, in which I feature as a student travelling on a tight budget – I’m flying from Singapore to Australia through China – clearly a cheap ticket convinced me to add 10 hours to my travel time. Or maybe she sees me as a confused girl, unfamiliar with airports, running around and constantly turning to walk in the opposite direction because I can’t choose between Starbucks and Coffee Bean.

Or then again, maybe she’s just pegged me as the inevitable creepy person of the flight, staring at her constantly and typing furiously away into her laptop, blushing when caught.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Too Much


There’s just
Too much to learn
Too much to study
Too much to read
Too much to know

Too much to think
Too much to see
Too much to do
Too much to write

Too much to feel
Too much to accomplish
Too much to change
Too much to fix

Such little time
So much frustration
I’ll never finish it all
Because it’ll never end

The hour I just spent watching TV
Was such a waste of time.

Clarity

Clarity
The thing I want the most now
The thing that seems the hardest to find

The paths leading to it have been built
I need not find the road less travelled
I just want to find the highway

Confusion doesn’t suit me
In courses, jobs, decisions, friends
It makes me stupid and frustrated

I want to make informed decisions
Randomness or baseless analysis doesn’t suit me
But I don’t have the information I need.

There don’t seem to be any street lights
Highways never do have any, I’ve noticed
I have to find the highway without a map

I’ll stumble around, take a few wrong turns
I will eventually find clarity, I know
I’d just rather it be now, than five, ten years from now.